My supporting analysis and examples are scattered all over the three pages of this first essay, and none of these things really stick in the readers mind, resulting in an unsupported thesis. It is when I try to lay all of this out on paper, all of my thoughts get jumbled up. As a matter of fact, I think I have never had a problem coming up with arguments about texts, and reasons why I believe something. However, I did make some pretty good points in this paper. The result was an introduction with two completely different arguments in it, neither of which ended up being proven effectively enough. My first big error here was going off track and not sticking to one idea, and then my second error was trying to make a quick fix and change my thesis to reflect all of the ideas I had written. I can remember when writing this paper, at one point thinking I wanted to talk about how Nietzche helped me understand Plato’s views better, and then as my paper evolved I ended up talking equally about the two philosopher’s views. Right from the start, it is a little unclear what my thesis is. By just looking at the improvements between my rough draft and final, it is clear that although the structure of this essay is pretty bad, I only focused on revising my grammatical mistakes. When I was writing this paper, I still had no idea of any structure to try to stick to. My first paper, “Art’s Real Effects” is almost embarrassing to look back on. I feel that I improved on my structure on every paper, and am now able to construct my essays in an effective, clear way that backs up my thesis. In my self-assessment, I talk about wanting to find a structure for writing creative papers, like I’d found a structure for writing History papers and lab reports. He talked about how they are both really systematic, and although I had heard this before, I kind of wrote it off. On the first day of class, Andrew tried comparing writing to math to me. I went into this semester knowing I wasn’t the strongest English student, however not knowing why I wasn’t strong.
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